Posted by Clickbait is a proven method for driving up site traffic. Promise the world, but deliver a dud. Presented to you by the adults who, as wayward youth, used to make unsavory bets with their friends for x number of dollars, claiming in the end that they had actually said “doll hairs.”
Well, we the fine folks of TNM don’t want to brag, but we excel in this particular skill. I mean, we turn add banners into an art form with more layers than the makers of Inception ever dreamed possible. Heheheh. We could turn the story of Humpty Dumpty into a thousand page jambalaya you happily click every page of with bonus material covering everything from cartoon characters caught off-screen to the lurid promises of revealed celebrity tax returns.
Expert Tips:
When in doubt, pixelate. It doesn’t matter what, but any picture immediately looks scandalous with the prominent pixelation of anything anywhere near the nether regions. Even on bears. Especially on bears! Scramble those pixels up
Whenever possible, create lists! Preferably, lists of lists. Consumers love to see things ranked even more than they like to be ranked. Arbitrary numbers are the newest hottest authority, and you can rank anything.
Any of these formulas. Seriously, just ask a 3-year-old to makeup words and fill in the blank:
- You should never _________ a ____________ without using this trick!
- Hollywood is stunned! Read the story behind how this __________ got ____________
- Outrageous! Berkeley has banned _______________________________________ + something about micro-aggression and how cultural appropriation influenced the game of backgammon
- People who ________ or _________may be in for a big surprise
- Today, President Trump tweeted angrily _______________ alleging ___________ citing “Fear of garden gnomes” and thus refusing to _________
- Rarely seen ____________ not suitable for ___________
Pick a picture of person — any picture will do, really. Posit a query as to whether the individual alluded to realized what “everyone was staring at”
Any sentence at all ending in the word “pants” followed by 3 exclamation point