Posted by Cryptocurrency is all the rage these days. Everyone’s doing it. Back in the old days you’d have to start your own religion if you wanted that combination of instant wealth, power, and devoted disciples. But nowadays you just need some fancy algorithm hocus pocus and a cool name. Actually, not even a cool name!
Well, the latest installment in the cryptocurrency saga has arrived, and boy is it a real humdinger! A group of British Botanists rather well endowed in the brainal area came up with a way to protect their beloved tree nuts from overly aggressive squirrels.
By creating an algorithm based on squirrel DNA, they managed to unleash a torrent of zealous squirrel snatchers who have been hoofing it around public parks looking to mine some serious coin through the gene sequencing of any poor squirrels unlucky enough to wander into the wrong thicket.
But the jokes on them, because rabies are real, and all the powers of the block chain still cannot save you from the horrors of roving packs of rabid squirrels unleashed on humanity now that all the friendly squirrels have been weeded out by unnatural selection. Can your pocket protectors protect you from this? SCREEEEEEEE SCREEEEEEEE!!!